Uchiha Shorts
by HK Keiji
Summary: Naruto made Sasuke some Uchiha shorts, with the Uchiha symbol on his crotch... it looked like a penis. "I can't wear that!" he spluttered.


"...STOP... CALLING... ME... DOBE!" Naruto screamed, trying to punch the living daylights out of Sasuke.

Sasuke stepped to the side and pushed the blonde to the ground with a mere touch of his finger. This was why he enjoyed training sessions. The dobe was simply too much fun to pick on, he really was just an idiot. God, he looked like a cute idiot sitting on the ground, glaring up at Sasuke. His blue eyes were tremulous, a sure sign that tears would soon be on the way.

_He really does have to look so fucking cute. Fucking, being the operative word here._

Sasuke sighed.

"Well, it's probably because you're still a _baby,_" He smirked.

Naruto looked at him furiously, jumping up to his feet. He stabbed Sasuke hard on his chest with his finger. He grinned, and his finger moved up to poke Sasuke rather hard on the forehead. Sasuke scowled, unable to dodge the move.

"What makes you think you're so grown up, eh? Sasuke-teme?" Naruto demanded, hands on his hips and a slight pout forming.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows in a you-really-want-to-know fashion.

"Hm... I _am _an adult. I've proven this already to the Uchiha clan at the age of 8."

Naruto blinked and tilted his head. "What do you mean? You did some sort of trial?" He snorted disbelievingly.

"Not exactly..." Sasuke said slowly.

"TELL ME!" Naruto ran up to Sasuke and shoved him against the nearest tree trunk. He placed his hands on either side of his face, forcing Sasuke to look back into his eyes. Sasuke merely smirked, enjoying the position very much. It wasn't often that you got a hot, angry and heated Naruto pressing you up against a tree.

"You're not telling me..." Naruto said, a tint of whining surfacing.

"Fine," Sasuke rolled his eyes, giving into the sweet and little voice from the dobe.

"Brilliant! Story telling time!" Naruto dragged Sasuke down with him to the forest floor, landing with a thump. He sat down eagerly, waiting for Sasuke to start.

Sasuke grumbled, rubbing his back slightly. There was sure going to be a bruise left, and he probably wouldn't be able to sit properly for the next few days. Also, as if to add to his list of annoyments, his perfectly clean white shorts were now soiled with dirt.

"Alright... my father used to say..." He began.

"STOP!" Naruto interrupted, yelling in his face. Sasuke glared at him.

"What?"

"You forgot to say, Once upon a time..." Naruto settled back down in front of Sasuke, smiling. His eyes just looked way too innocent.

Sasuke muttered some foul curses under his breath, but he was a sensible Uchiha. He could reign his furious emotions, keep control of himself, and just go with the flow.

"Once upon a time... my father used to say that to become an fully grown man in the Uchiha family, I'd have to perform a special jutsu. Of course, I asked my brother to teach it to me. He actually was a pretty good teacher... he encouraged me to keep practising. Of course, I handled it pretty well. I was only 8 years old at the time. I showed it to my father and for the first time ever, it seemed like he acknowledged me. He said I had come of age."

Sasuke sighed. "...the end."

Naruto sat there, mouth wide open. He stared at the Uchiha for a long time. "...That's it?"

"What do you mean, 'that's it?' That jutsu signifies the coming of age in the Uchiha clan!" Sasuke protested, not noticing the blush creeping across his cheeks.

"What was the jutsu?"

"..." Sasuke stared at the blonde.

"Tell me, what's the jutsu!" Naruto pouted, a sad look pooling in his eyes. "Maybe I want to become of age too."

"It'd be difficult, considering that the jutsu is only for fire-clan users..." Sasuke paused, and then smirked at the blonde. "...plus the fact that you're a _dobe _doesn't help either."

"...I... I don't want to be a dobe... " Naruto sat there, looking suddenly very dismal and alone. He looked at the ground, his blonde hair covering his eyes. He sniffled, and his body started to shake slightly. "...acknowledge me, Sasuke... please... teach me..."

Sasuke could do nothing but melt in the glory of Naruto's pleading. He wanted to literally reach out and glomp the blonde dobe. But Uchiha's_ do not _glomp.

"Alright," Sasuke managed to force from his lips. "I'll teach you."

"...SASUUUKEEE!" Naruto immediately fell on top of Sasuke, drowning him in a massive glomp. Uzumaki's _do _glomp, on the other hand.

Sasuke managed to shove the blonde off, who was grinning happily and looking dazed.

"Listen up dobe, I'm only going to repeat this once."

Naruto immediately sharpened up at Sasuke's threatening words and locked eyes with him.

"The jutsu... is Kanton Gokakyu no Jutsu." Sasuke said quietly. Naruto stared as Sasuke performed the hand seals as demonstration.

Naruto stared.

He giggled.

Out of all the reactions on earth, Naruto just had to giggle. Sasuke's eye twitched. Naruto tried to conceal his giggles, but they emerged into fully fledged peals of laughter. Naruto's laughing rang in the forest, reverberating around Sasuke. Echo's of laughter.

"What, is my fire jutsu not good enough for you?" Sasuke scowled, casting Naruto a death glare.

"...N-no," Naruto bit his lip to stop laughing. "But come on man, that's such a baby jutsu. I've seen you do it a thousand times... I don't even need your precious sharingan to copy that move, right?"

Sasuke's eye had a heart attack.

"You've never tried it," He pointed out. "Surely a dobe can't master a fire technique in one move."

"...BELIEVE IT!" Naruto yelled. "...Just you watch. ACKNOWLEDGE ME!"

Sasuke was almost blown away by the blonde yelling at the top of his voice, full blast into his face.

His eyes widened as Naruto started to do the quick hand seals.

"Naruto!" Sasuke took a quick step backwards. He was right in front of the stupid blonde. _What am I afraid of? This dobe can't do a fire technique in his entire life, even if he tried!_

But still...

"...Naruto.. stop!"

"KANTON GOKAKYU NO JUTSU!"

The last thing that Sasuke saw was Naruto blowing a kiss at him, a finger on his mouth like a sinful delight. A billow of furious flames shot from between those two perk lips. Such fine, small, perk pink lips. _I love the way those lips pout._

The fire rushed towards him and time slowed down.

There was only one word in Sasuke's mind.

_Hot._

* * *

Sasuke woke up. 

At least he _thought _he woke up. In fact he just felt like he wanted to be dead.

Dancing lights played in front of his eyes, and he cursed the fact that hospital lights were always white. Why white? White was such a fucking bright colour. The only thing that should be allowed to be white were his shorts.

Then a warm glow of gold covered the white lights.

"Sasuuuke?" Naruto said nervously, leaning over the Uchiha. "You're in hospital."

"I know that, dobe," Sasuke rasped, not succeeding in giving Naruto a cold glare. Besides, that blonde was looking so sweet and so guilty.

"I'm so sorry... I forgot you were standing in front of me." Naruto looked depressed for a minute. Then he perked up. "I told you I could do it, Sasuke teme!"

Sasuke teme was currently trying to focus on one spot. His mind was spinning way too fast. _Concentrate on his blue eyes. Yes. That stops the dizziness._

"Whatever," He said again, coughing.

_Omg. My skin. Did he burn my skin...? My flawless pale complexion...?_

Sasuke raised his arms and examined them with worried eyes. He sighed with great relief as he realized he wasn't hurt at all. Naruto was watching him all along, and laughed.

"You're still pretty," He reassured the Uchiha.

"...you think I'm pretty?" Sasuke asked, a small smile forming on his lips.

Naruto scoffed.

"Oh yeah. I burnt your clothes by accident." Naruto shrugged. "You have spares yeah?"

"B-but..." Sasuke paled. _He burnt my Uchiha shirt? My white shorts? My beloved sandals...? _"NOOOOOOOOOO!" He flopped down onto his pillow, covering his face with the blankets. He wailed silently to himself. He shouldn't allow this to hurt his Uchiha pride.

"What, you had a special pair of Uchiha underwear you were wearing?" Naruto teased.

Sasuke froze. Oh yeah. "You... saw me... naked..."

"No..." Naruto gave a sigh. "I'd love to," He joked, winking. "Nah, the medic team got there before I could even get near to you. Seems like you really are a fragile little flower, Uchiha. You have so many people chasing after you."

"Shut up," Sasuke scowled. He pulled the blankets back up over his face.

"...Sasu?" Naruto asked, concerned. He tugged the blankets down and saw Sasuke crying.

Crying?

"...You burnt my Uchiha shirt... my white shorts..." He whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. He felt embarressed, but there was no other way for him to react to such a situation. _Damnit, this shouldn't be such a big deal._

Naruto looked at him.

"I'm so sorry..."

* * *

The next day, Sasuke wondered if he should contemplate suicide. 

No, it wasn't because of the burnt Uchiha clothes (although that was pretty upsetting), it was Sakura. That damn brat pink haired girl kept visiting him, bringing flowers and chocolates. She was constantly yapping, and her high pitched voice brought him headaches. It wasn't until she was dragged off by Tsunade that he finally got some quiet.

Now, he was resting on his bed.

Finally.

Peace and quiet.

That was until Naruto decided to burst through the doors, making a clamorous entry. Kakashi followed closely behind Naruto, looking extremely amused.

Sasuke looked up and glared at Naruto, but found he didn't even have the effort. Plus, seeing the familiar glow of Naruto warmed him up again. He could live with this.

"Look, Sasuke, look!" Naruto jumped up and down, clutching a big bag in his arms. "Look look look look look!" He emptied the contents of the bag onto Sasuke's bed, and several items of clothing came tumbling out.

"What's... this..." Sasuke looked at the clothing wearily.

Kakashi chuckled. "Naruto felt guilty for burning your favourite clothes. So, I suggested to him to make them."

Sasuke froze. "You... made this for me, Naruto?"

Naruto turned a sweet dango pink, nodding. He bit his lip, blinking his blue eyes wide and innocent at Sasuke. "Is it ok?" He asked.

Sasuke reached out for the familiar looking dark blue shirt and picked it up. He placed it to his face, smelling the sweet vanilla scent. Then, he held it up in the air, looking at the perfect design of the Uchiha symbol on the back. It looked exactly like the old one.

A tear slid from his obsidian eye. "Thank you," He whispered to Naruto.

Naruto gave him a grin. "Yeah so, I made this all by myself. I knew you were crazy about the Uchiha clan symbol, so I added a few more..."

"You did?" Sasuke lit up. _Maybe this blonde really was sharp afterall._

"Yes! Look! I added them to your white shorts!"

Naruto picked up the white shorts and dangled it in the air for Sasuke to see. Sasuke froze. His eyes widened. His face paled.

_Oh... my... god..._

On his white shorts, Naruto had neatly embelished the Uchiha clan symbol. Right in the center of the crotch of the white shorts. The red-white Uchiha symbol stood out. It looked like... well... you know what the symbol looked like.

Kakashi stifled a snigger. "...It suits you, Sasuke."

Sasuke glared at him. Then he looked at Naruto with pleading eyes.

"That... you didn't have to put the symbol there..." He stammered, blushing.

"Why not?" Naruto tilted his head, confused. "Don't you like it? Wear it for me Sasuke!"

"Naruto!" Sasuke turned red. Did Naruto know what he was going? "That... that looks... like... a _penis_," He hissed the last word quietly.

"A what?" Naruto said, not bothering to listen. He was too busy jumping around, excited that he had made Sasuke Uchiha all his favourite items of clothing. Sasuke groaned, not sure how he was going to explain that he couldn't wear the shorts. Never.

"Aww Sasuke, don't like the shorts?" Kakashi's eye glinted and he chuckled. Sasuke felt like ripped his silver hair out.

"I was really hoping you'd like it," Naruto stopped, looking at Sasuke mourfully.

"I... I..."

"TRY IT!" Naruto thrust the clothes into Sasuke's face. "Pleeease? I want to go out with you today."

"No way, what the f..."

"...I'll do anything...!" Naruto pleaded, eyes watery as he begged Sasuke. He stuck his little lip out, pouting slightly.

"Anything?" Sasuke wondered. Maybe wearing the humiliating white shorts would be survivable... "Fine, I'll wear it."

"YES!" Naruto glomped Sasuke on the bed. Sasuke blushed from the show of affection. Naruto ran out of the room so that Sasuke could get changed.

"I can't wait..." Kakashi chuckled. Sasuke threw him a dirty look.

"I know it was your idea. Bastard."

* * *

Sasuke tried to pull the dark blue shirt down to cover the embarressing white shorts. A few of the nurses they passed on the way out giggled and pointed at him. Sasuke flushed with fury, although he did this all for the blonde. 

You know what the Uchiha symbol looked like? It looked like a penis. Worst of all, a tiny penis. Sasuke knew that this wasn't what it looked like, but it really just did look like a big sac of balls with a tiny prick sticking out. It was fucking humiliating.

He glanced sideways at the blonde dobe who was looking happy, walking down the street with Sasuke without a worry in the world.

"...Naruto," He whispered, black eyes in a trance.

"Look! Dango!" Naruto ran off towards the little dango cart, a look of glee spreading across his blushing happiness.

The dango-man served some dango to Naruto, then turned to Sasuke. He looked at his pants, then gave a smirkish chuckle. He offered some dango to Sasuke, but he turned them down.

"Aww... Sasuke, you'll LOVE dango! TRY TRY TRY!" Naruto stabbed a ball of pink dango with his toothpick and prodded it at Sasuke's lips.

Sasuke shut his lips abruptly. "Nnmmm.." He said, trying to say 'no thanks' as best as he could with his mouth closed.

Naruto pouted. "Fine," He mumbled, deciding to eat the dango for himself. He raised the pink globe to his mouth and laid is pouting lips over the side, sucking on it so that his saliva was shiny around his pink lips. Finally the whole thing plopped into his mouth, with Naruto giving a satisfying suck.

"..." Sasuke's obsidian eyes widened.

"What?" Naruto tilted his head to one side. Sasuke tried to take his eye away from the little bit of pink dango still stuck to Naruto's lip.

"Nothing," He muttered. "Dobe, you got dango on your shirt..."

Naruto looked down, seeing a smudge of dango. Sasuke sighed and took out a tissue from his pocket, starting to wipe at his smudge. _Maybe I can wipe his lip... with my tongue... _STOP thinking... Sasuke frowned to himself.

"Is this... a new shirt?" Sasuke finally asked, wondering why he never noticed that Naruto's shirt wasn't orange as usual. Instead it was a clean white.

"YEAH! LOOK!" Naruto spun around and pointed at his back. "I made my own shirt, with the Uzumaki logo!"

True enough, there was an orange spiral on his back.

"I also got them on my pants," Naruto quickly shoved the box of dango into Sasuke's hands so that he could lift his shirt. He pulled his white shirt up, still facing his back to Sasuke. Silence was met with Sasuke's gape.

Neatly placed on Naruto's shorts was a spiral, _right in the center of his cute little bum..._

Sasuke stared helplessly as the little spiral, wondering why the hell it looked so inviting. He clutched the box of dango in his hand, wondering what it would be like to push a dango up Naruto's bum the same way he did with his lips.

_Shit, that was such a sick thought, even for you, Sasuke. _

_Oh god. His back is so smooth._

_Is that his ass crack? Why does it look so sexy?_

_Doesn't he wear underwear?_

Currently Sasuke was having a major nosebleed.

The Uchiha penis on his crotch, and the Uzumaki swirl on his bum, was a perfect fit.

* * *

XX keiji

please review, this isn't a one shot, it will continue!! mUAHAHAHA...

i made my own uchiha shorts LOL xD


End file.
